I feel tt throwing all the bad stuff as my 1st few paragraphs for my blog will turn everyone but those closest to me off... Therefore, I've decided to blog abt those delightful issues 1st...
Just 2 days ago, our sch threw a farewell asembly for the J2... This means tt officially, we, the J2s are no longer required to attend sch for the morning ritual of singing the national anthem and pledge taking... However, we still have to, afterall, attend certain lectures and whatever lessons tt our teachers have put up for us in preparation for the 'A's...
Tt doesn't sound too bad as now I've time to study and I plan to head to the sch library and complete my assignments (and revision @ the same time)... It's the 1st time I'm doing this because I'm starting to feel tt the house is getting increasingly difficult to study due to all the TV, com and PS competing to get my attention... Therefore, by depriving myself from all those distraction, I do hope tt I could increase my productivity...
Back to the farewell assembly... The performances by the various teachers and the VP were really interesting and fun to watch... The only bummer was the performance by the [7th SC]... They really can't sing... But @ it's a good try and thanks anyway for the not so wonderful performances... *Weak smile*
Once the sch day ends, it's time for a major phototaking session by all my classmates... I was witness to the whole event and everyone was like so eager to take photos with him, her and everyone... But not me... I guess it's because I give out those 'don't even think abt taking photos with me' vibes... After all, I feel (and it's proven), tt I'm not exactly good-looking nor ugly to even warren any attention to me... Besides, I totally feel tt when I smile or even attempt to act cute, the end result is totally hideous... Guess the only expression I can give is to look normal and don't even bother to smile...
Had lunch with the class in [Pizza Hut] @ [Lot 1]... Despite it being a class lunch, there wasn't any class-y interactions as after 2 yrs of being in our own cliques, I do feel weird conversing with ppl whom I'm not too close with... After all, the topics available with strangers are just tt limited, and I'm a very shy and reserved person when it comes to being around with stangers... Perhaps those who aren't close to me find tt I'm a very distant and cold person... However, to those I consider as friends, I'm more talkative and as for my buds, I only have this to say... It's remarkable of you to bear my incessant chattering on the phone...
1st impression counts but there's a great percentage error to the vaildity of it...
Now let's move on to some solemn issues... Of late, my mood is @ an all time low, just like tt of the weather, @ an all time low due to the persistent haze... Sometimes it's only human nature to immediately shift the blame to others... However, we can't really totally blame the [Indonesians] for burning down the forest... After all, they depend on the land for their survival... Sure, some of you may argue tt they could've adopt other means to clear the lands... But they're living in poverty!!! Do they have the means (knowledge and technology) to actually clear the land using more environmentally friendly means??? It's beyond their reach to do so...
I know I'm digressing... Nonetheless, if we want to blame ppl for the haze, we have only ourselves to blame... If every country actually could really send aid, I mean not only monetary aid, but other forms of aid tt'll help increase the welfare of the poor, perhaps the haze can be prevented... Yet tt is easier said than done...
O-k-ay... Back to my bad mood... I do think tt it's the exam stress and with me being such a passive person, I've no means to de-stress and the effect is a bad mood... I guess everything will improve once the 'A's is over... But my foul mood will remain...
The root of the problem??? I've just received a letter from [MinDef] announcing my date of enlistment to the army... So I've no BMT and I'll only be gone for 5.5 days, what's the prob??? Well, the prob is of majority of the ppl surrounding me, including my parents... And my inability to be in self-denial...
Let's dwell on the self-denial part 1st... After my med check-up, and my wonderful PES E status was bestowed to me a few mths back, I was happily deluding myself tt tt's the end of the army issue... The study stress, friends and [DOTA] actaully helped to shove tt inveitable event (my enlistment) to the back of my mind... I even have to cheek to help organise the gang's chalet even though I knew @ tt pt of time tt my probability of my giving tt a miss is rather high... I even envisioned myself @ the arcade enjoying myself @ the wee hours of the night...
Then came the letter which totally obliterated all hope of me going to the army @ a later date... as I was in self-denial, accepting the truth is a little hard but I've managed to accomplished tt some time ago... Despite tt, my mood hasn't improved...
The main cause of it (I reckon) is the persistent nagging of me to prepare for army life by my parents and some of my friends... Advising me to attempt bathing faster and in cold water are only 2 of the numerous irritating advice tt're thrown to me like it's free...
As If I don't have to worry abt doing well for my 'A's, I have to worry abt tt... Can't they cut me some slack and stop mentioning abt army life?! The 'A's is really stressful enough as I have high hopes for myself and I can't even fanthom myself messing it up...
But does anyone understand??? NO!!! None of them... All they ever care abt was the after 'A's phase, not the before 'A's and during 'A's phases... Insisting tt I should train up and be more man, etc... I'm not tt free to even attempt to factor those events into my schedule...
*Deep breathes*... Can't those closer to me actually see tt I hate (I'm using such strong words on purpose) exercising??? Tt I prefer online gaming and playing my PS to those activities??? After caring for me for so long, can't they realise tt??? Sometimes I can't stand them...
Tt day, when I showed them my prelim result slip, they're only concered if I could get into a uni and they were impressed tt I'm the [ACM]... It's no big deal anyway, but they sounded so impressed... Then they noticed tt the teacher wrote tt I'm a 'quiet and reserved' person... I mean, I've always been like tt... But my dad asked how come I'm reserved!!!
Sheesh!!! I'm just shy when it comes to strangers, can't they tell??? Okay, so I'm a little withdrawn from my parents as well... But tt because they thought tt every cartoon I watch is the same!!! Try explaining why 1+1=2 to a sec 1 student and you'll know how I feel @ tt pt of time... I was watching my recorded [Tubasa Chronicles] yesterday and my dad asked this dumb question...
'I thought you watched this yesterday (Friday) already???'
FYI, on [Friday], the anime I was watching [Inuyasha]... Just because I'm watching cartoon doesn't mean tt they're all similar... Can't they see animes as dramas with different episodes??? You don't see me complaining to them everyday @ 7 pm for watching the same drama...
After all those complaining, it's obivous there's a rift b/w me and my parents... I'm not the kind to take initiatives and passively, I'll prevent the gap from widening...
There!!! I feel much relieved now... Looking ahead, I'll enter [Tekong] with less hatred, tt I can assure myself... As for enlarging my social circle, tt I can't promise... Afterall, life as a loner isn't always tt terrible and having the gang is the best thing tt could ever happen to me...
It's terrible to envision the future when we all go our separate ways... Yet I know it's heart-breaking to tihnk of such events now... When the time comes to move on, tt feeling will no longer be there except when memories are revived...
Can't type anymore... My feeling are in a turmoil now... Arghhh!!!
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