I tried to abstain from using the net for @ least 4 days, starting from [Mon]... Despite it being a rather innocuous goal, me not being able to accomplish tt 1 task showed my total lack of self-restrain and determination in certain facets of life... Which I don't think I'm capable of providing an acceptable response for this unbecoming side of me... Whatever I come up in defense with will only sound like some feeble excuses...
Anyway, with so many things happening within this week, it's impossible for my easily distracted mind to recall a single one of them... Haha... It's pretty lame huh??? Oh well, the bane of falling into the category of the aging population of [Singapore] can't be denied... @ this pt of time, I once again have made [YH] laughed and [SH] agreeing fervently to my statement...
O-k-a-y... @ least I'm still able to recall the 'interesting issues' tt took place today... LOL... If I can't, then I'll definitely need medical attention like immediately...
I managed to take half-day off today, which is fabulous since it seems like a very long time ago when I'm able to be home w/o any adults nagging down my back for my computer habits... Heke... Besides, my replacement is here and I can sort of leave the office in peace for the knowledge tt @ least someone is still assisting me in doing my work while I'm not in the office comforts me... Of course, this isn't to say tt I'll throw everything to my replacement and kick back and relax during office hours... I can't survive on tt kinda lifestyle... I'm still unable to live my days w/o any distractions to prevent my mind from wandering to the forbidden sector which controls my emotions...
Could this be how workaholics are born??? Or is this a sign tt my emotional capacity has been overloaded to the extent tt I'm no longer capable of handling any emotional trauma??? Or could it be a combination of both???
*SIgh* Thinking @ what [SH] has been advising in his typical unkind and demeaning manner, I must confess... I'm totally freaked out to take tt next big step to open myself up... The various what ifs still haunts me to this very day... What if we don't click??? What if they don't like me??? What if they turn out to another [Jeff]??? I know I'm being super duper cautious and paranoid... Whatever happened in the past was due to pure childishness on their part... Yet the hurt is there and I couldn't help but to be on my guard...
I'm facing the consequences of being totally @ ease with complete isolation... The loneliness is starting to get stronger w/o the absence of my close friends - [The Gang] - and I'm not strong enough to stop this vicious cycle of tormenting myself when I'm lonely and bored and not having anyone to chat with...
Goodness... I'm totally derailed again!!! I shall now shake off the emo side of me and indulge in some [My Heroes Abilities] on [Facebook]... But before tt, a MV recommendation... LOL... I'm jumping on the bandwagon of introducing music...
[Hot n Cold] By [Katy Perry]...
