For once, my subconcious mind actually sent me a warning on the horrible information tt I would soon receive a couple of days later... It's the 1st time tt I've received such prophetic warnings, so I wasn't sure what to make of the dream, initially, tt is... It's only when the earth shattering (to me only) news arrived tt I finally drew the connection...
(Am I really developing some subconcious clairvoyance ability???)
(I was super excited on the duo events tt was held on last [Sat], which explains the jarring resemblance to reality...)
I dreamt tt [The Gang] was having a meal @ [Mingles] and we were being our usual self - crazy and noisy... He was there as well and as I joined him @ the queue to place our orders, he dropped a bombshell on me... By those inexplainable dream logic, he was making out with a very tall guy, right in front of me...
To say tt the sight of what was unfolding before me as 'shocking' is an understatement... The double realisation tt dawned on me petrified me so much tt I was unable to move my eyes from tt disasterous scene... It's like I was numb, a numbness I once felt when she told me the whole truth 4 yrs ago, @ the void deck... Something I hope not to experience again...
To think tt he's gay yet his object of his desire isn't me is simply too much for my brain to process tt I wished tt I could just will my brain to shut down and tune everything out... To be in a catonic state and never wake up...
The nightmare ended just then as I was jolted awake by my subconcious sadistic torture... This is something tt I couldn't just forget, even after 4 days...
Recently, a close friend informed me tt he's experiencing what I've desired the most... Something which I've been harping abt for mths isn't happening on me... It's like some unknown forces is sadistic and hell bent on deriving joy by making me miserable... It's only when this appeared on my MSN screen tt I finally drew the connection b/w the dream and reality... Someone's gonna experience something which I would gladly give 10 yrs of my life for, but I would simply just be a spectator...
(I could be over-reacting, but I simply couldn't stop myself from thinking too much...)
I'm doubting my ability to function normally when I've free time on my hands... Or when my mind is left to wander... Ugh, I'm utterly disgusted with myself...
