I've warned myself time and time again not to push my luck... Yet what I loath abt myself is tt I couldn't resist trying anyway... Ugh...
The end result is always the same... I end up with ripping the gaping hole in my chest even bigger, wider... To think tt I'm such a perverse person to torture myself as such!!!
I should've shun away those temptations so tt I'm never broken... With the dmg already done, not even [Time] could help me be whole again... The pain and grief will numbe with it's help, but I'll never be perfect again...
Ha~... I'm now paying the price for the solitude which I've kept myself in for so long... I've caged my emotions for too long, such tt I've lost the ability to vent it out to lessen the pressure tt's building...
I wish to wail, but I couldn't find the tears...
I wish to scream in fustration, but I couldn't find the voice...
I wish to forget, but my memory refuses to obey...
I wish to be catatonic, but my consciousness refuses to grant me this wish...
I wish to be ignorant, but I'm after all, human...
I'm submerging in the bottomless pit which I've unknowningly created... Sinking deeper...
