My Mind's Drifting...

It's just 33 more days... I wonder if I can hold on tt long... With the new time-table, our lessons are greatly reduced and the rationale for tt SUPPOSEDLY is to allow us students to do after sch consultation and revision...

I understand tt concept so for the past 3 days, I've dilligently been doing my revision, making summarising the notes so tt it's more comprehensive... I know I can't summarise all the chapters for all of my subjects... But doing some will lessen my load when it's time do review whatever I've learnt...

Despite all tt I"ve mentioned, I'm afraid I'll just give up half-way again... The last time I did my mind-maps, I could last beyond 2 chapters... Hence my apprehension... Though I have my fears tt the past might repeat itself, I'm confident tt I can prevent it... After all, I have to learn from my setbacks... In addition, I managed to do notes for more than 2 chapters already... Hence I believe tt I can peservere...

Tt said, I shall now attempt to resist the temptation to shut down during weekends... Tt's my vulnerability... *Sigh*

Now tt I'm done worrying, now it's time to put my hair down a little... I headed to [JP] just now with my family and I do really see a lot of guys... *Slaps* Obviously!!! How I wish some scenes from those TV dramas might surface, where I really bumped into them, you know, a head-on collision... Tt isn't so impossible considering I'm so muddle-headed and the mall's freaking packed with ppl...

*Groans* I can't believe I'm still thinking abt those issues... Perhaps my attention should really be diverted elsewhere... You know, to studies and gaming... So tt I can stop dreaming... Only in the alternative reality will my dream come true...

Before I end this... He asked me for my blog add yesterday... I gave it to him AGAIN with a tinge of disappointment... No matter what, tt devious hope is always there eating @ my heart... Darn it...

OMG!!! My life's getting boring by the day, evident from the blog entries... I need to spice things up a little in my life!!! But for now, let me just help [XP] in finding her desired MP3s...

P,S: This has been bugging me for a long time now... Should I get a tote for myself??? *Questioning look* Heke... ^_^

BlackMail...

I've been blackmailed... By a person I believed tt's my friend... Can you believe the atrocity of tt?! And you're not going to buy what she's blackmail-ing me with... The previous post...

Of course, I'm not truly shocked or angry @ tt... After all, those are my memories and I'm merely typing them out... What's more, it's all in the past... Repeat after me, P-A-S-T... Yes!!! As in history!!! Now I'm simply going to concentrate on my [MS], [Digimon World 2], [.Hack], [Tsubasa] and my studies... I'll try to install a firewall to block out all those malicious affairs of my heart... I'm determined to @ least complete my [DW2] as tt'll mark my very 1st PS RPG game tt I'll actually complete... LOL...

Evidently, posting tt entry up do in fact carry tons of risks... The situation described is so freaking overt to anyone tt's very close - with 'very' being the operational word here - to me can actually decipher the truth... I just hope tt no friendship is being lost here as after all, it's all history... I still hope tt I'll find my bf in the future... Perhaps like in those TV shows where I bumped into 1 hunk or tt we share some common interest and we're abt to take the same book from some library or tt some hunk took the initiative to ask me out...

OMG... I can just keep dreaming...

Headed for lunch with [YH] today and I was devastated when she told me tt she didn't wanna eat [Pizza Hut]!!! I was sooo looking forward to eating some pizza... Tt disappointment is short-lived... I mean, hello?! If I'm to get disappointed so easily, I wouldn't be alive for long... Imagine the harm of grieving @ such details!!! Gosh... We had [KFC] instead...

Once we're done, I followed her around as she shopped for gifts and borrowed books... Coincidently, both of us wanted to invite [SL] along... But evidently, both of us didn't go ahead with our plan... I can't remember why she didn't, but the reason why I didn't is because I couldn't stand another rejection from him... Come on, after wasting my SMSes and having tt 'No' thrown to me like it's FOC, I've enough sense to infer tt he has better company or things to do than to simply travel all the way to [Lot 1] or [West Mall] for a simple meal and then head back home...

Heke... There isn't really much to it... So I'll end here...

P.S: I know the blackmail thingy is in jest... Like DUH!!!

100 And Counting...

It's been 3 wks and 1 day since I've actually entered this webby and actually blogged... No, I'm not taking a sabbatical or anything... Though I do wish I could take a break from everything... You see, for the 1st wk of my absence, I'm having my hols and I'm supposed to be studying... But did I do tt??? Nooo~, I didn't... Rather, I was busy playing [DOTA] and slacking... I tell ya... Technology and food will be the cause of my death... Probably guys as well...

Then for the next 2 wks, I'm having my prelims and OMG!!! It's freaking tough... The difficulty lv has been raised to who-knows-what-lv... Perhaps I haven't been studying during the hols and I was doing last min revision once again tt I feel tt the papers' tough... The worse was [Phy]... The questions are like a combination of every topic combined... Imagine alamagating (apologies for the spelling error, if there's any) all those topics together and applying them!!! It's hell I tell you... Studying has just become a whole new thing for the children of the future... I reckon this is the end of the un-adaptable [LeiLa]... *Sigh*

@ long last the prelims' over and on the very day my last paper ended, [deClique] decided to head over to [PS] to have dinner... Tt's cool considering the alternative of no celebration after exams, which for the record, is boring... FYI, the paper ended @ 1730 hrs and tt paper - [Econs] - isn't any easier as compared to [Phy], so I'm anticipating the dinner very badly...

[Ryl], [KL] and I rushed to [PS] and joined the rest - [Lynn], [Quin], [Joan] and [LY] - @ [Manhattan Fish Market]... We had tons of laughs while we ate and all of us can't seemed to finish whatever we ordered, despite all of us being very hungry... Well, there's a very good reason for tt: We're all on a diet... LOL... Do you actually buy tt??? *Engimatic smile*

Once we're done with our dinner, we're obviously not ready to head home... Heck, we travelled all the way to [PS] just have a meal and head home??? You must be outta ya mind... The 7 of us then headed to [Cathy Cineplex] for [Ben N Jerry]!!! For eternity, we've been talking abt hanging out and eating tt ice-cream... But due to our busy schedule, we couldn't pull tt off... @ long last, we managed to fullfill tt desire to eat those delicious ice-cream together as a clique... Hooray!!!

By the time we're done, it's already 2200+ hrs and we left tt closing shop after we've taken quite a handful of photos... Hmmm... I'll attempt to get hold of those pics asap and post them up despite my horrendous self being in the pic... Don't you find my smile unnatural and my physique ugly??? Then again, if I don't smile, it'll be like I'm sulking... Gosh!!! It's a catch-22 situation!!! *Grins*

Another issue tt's I'm bugging myself with is my preference for love... Tt day when I'm having dinner with the clique, they suddenly asked my if I ever did liked a female before... I did, considering tt I so like being around her, listening to her and all... Tt's the thing of the past... Yet those memories keep floating to the surface of my mind as though it's like oil on water... Everytime I head to [Causeway] or [JP] or even any [Moss Burger], I'll thinking of the times we spent together, me listening, she talking abt the movies she has watched recently... Well, those are just tt, memories and my wishful thinking...

Another issue tt's been bugging me whenever my mind's not thinking abt games or schwork is the rumours of them being back together... It isn't any of my concern actually and they say 'ignorance is bliss'... I would rather be guessing and not knowing the truth as being kept in the dark is better... After all I can't see in the dark and what I don't know lurking in the darkness can't hurt me... I'm living in self-denial, I know... But tt's just my personality which I've developed ever since tt truth made me lost my cool in the most uncool kinda way...

Oh crap, I'm getting all emotional here... WTH... Maybe it's the envy tt I feel from all those couples... How I wish I could have some guy by my side as well... *Slap myself* I'm thinking too much again...

On a happier note, I'm currently hooked on [AniMax]... The animes are totally fabulous!!! [Tsusaba Chronicles] really rock and so does [.Hack//Lengend Of The Twillight]... Heke... However, I started a little late... How I wish I could watch them from episode 1 till the end... Nevertheless, I shall catch every single episode for now!!! Rock on anime!!!

O-k-a-y, before I end this entry, there's this extremely meaningful note tt I found some time ago on the papers tt's worth remembering...

Nostalgia does serve it's purpose... But when something you treasure has to go, then let it go; don't be a prisoner of your memories... Move on, accept the change and even embrace it... Who's to say new - and better - memories can't be born with the change???

Insightful isn't it??? Oh and before I forget, happy 100th entry to me, myself and [LeiLa]...

Friends...

It's in my nature to think more than I should really do, thinking of issues that are of little importance @ the extent of the lives of thousands of brain cells, amplifying their importance to an idiotic lv... When I could've used those pityful cells for other more pressing tasks @ hand, like concentrating on my studies...

Out of all those senseless issues, the only 1 tt bugged me the most is tt of friendship... Thinking back, I do regret not being more out-going, more friendly... I missed tt only chance of learning how to make friends... You might argue tt I was young then... Yet when I entered secondary sch, I realised tt the world out there is truly an ugly one... There'll be ppl tt'll dislike you, make fun of you, leaving an enotional wound so hugh tt time can't even heal it...

Instead, I was tricked into seeing a counsellor by a friend of mine... I didn't blame him... Rather, I'm grateful for tt... Because of him, I managed to overcome those name-callings, even accepting 1 of the nickname... Hence friends can be a good thing...

Yet up till now, I still don't know how to actually make friends... As the saying goes, 'Once bitten, twice shy'... After being the subject of name-calling from those whom I treated as friends, I'm afraid tt the same fate will befall on me once again... Thus I steered clear of strangers, preferring to hang abt ppl whom I know, who took initiative to befriend me... Those are the ppl whom I really trusts and don't really mind the real me...

Of course, the ppl tt really now me, none of them are guys... You can say tt I'm more comfortable in the company of females, gossiping of the latest news and all, rather than talking abt sports and spewing profanities like it's a pleasant word... To me, profanities in whatever language or dialect it's in is like how most ppl are perceiving [Paris]'s [Stars Are Blind]... Tt's why I dislike the company of guys... Yet I yearned to be in the embrace of 1 as well... Ironic...

Tt aside, it's sad how some ppl are so simple minded tt the actions they do or the words they say can influence my friends, turning them against me or simply causing the friendship to turn sour...These ppl jumped to conclusions upon the images tt they saw, unaware of the whole picture, fabricating stories to such an extent tt my friends are very much affected...

In the past, I'll be affected by it... However, tt's the past moi... The current me is totally immune to those gossips... Instead, I'm very much intrigued to see how long they can actually be thrilled by those gossips tt they created out of their own boredom... These immature ppl are so idiotically childish they they ought to use their imagination for a greater good, like for they [PW] project or for [GP]...

I'm not going to use any profanities even though the thought of these bimbotic [J1] really make me wanna utter tt word... But I'll refrain from using tt word anyway as it's against my moral values...

Before I digress further, I'm bringing tt issue up because [Bec]'s classmates saw me and her together and wrongly assumed tt the 2 of us are a couple... Tt's an insult to [Bec] herself... I know I should be saying tt... But seriously, I do feel tt she really needs a knight in shining armour, not some clown waiting for his king... So the rumour's there and this really infuriates me...

Are teenagers a year younger than me tt much immature??? Or is it because those snakes have been hybernating way to long tt they miss the evolution in society - tt it's normal for a male and female to be together as friends??? The mere mention of those girls made my blood boil... Can't believe tt such bimbotic bitches actually can survive up till now... Their extinction is long overdue... Grow up for the love of humanity!!!