Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Exam Blues...

I'm suffering from the usual case of exam blues again... The lost of incentive to study and all... Despite tt, I shall still blog and looking on the brighter side, there's rain for these few days... Hopefully, the rain clouds did pass by [Indonesia] and deposit tons of water droplets 1st before floating here... Begone evil forest fires and bring your minions - those pesky smoke particles - with you and never return (though they're sure to return next year)!!!

Haze aside, last [Fri] [PJC] had it's open house and I don't know much abt it... Don't complain cause for starters, I'm never a fan of such events tt involves tons of ppl... Moreover, I'm so caught up with finding the gang and ogling @ guys tt I'm totally oblivious to the surroundings... LOL... Of course, tt's half the reason... The other reason is tt there's this some kinda voting contest to determine the sch's beau and belle and [Soon Leng] is in it... Being me, I couldn't help but give him a vote as well as to get whoever I know (not many anyway) to vote for him as well... *Grins*... Look like I'm his no. 1 fan... Ha~...

Seriously... The outcome of tt contest is like so bloody predictable for the sch beau (I'm not talking abt the belle cause I can't tell who's prettier)... Him of course!!! Glancing thru the other contestants, [Soon Leng] is like THE most good looking guy of all... Where are the rest of those shuai ges?! Don't tell me [PJC] doesn't have any... Woops... This sch doesn't have many anyway... Whatever the case, tt competition wasn't even fair... Those good looking ones are not there and the only eligible guy has the [SC] to back him up... The foul smell of conspiracy is so strong only nose-less ppl can't detect it...

Oh ya... On [Sat], [JY], [Dar], [YH] and I went to [JP] to watch [Death Note]... I apologise for not inviting [YQ] and [XP]... I totally forgot to SMS you ppl... Guilt aside, the movie's awesome!!! It's a must watch to view it, DVD a must buy and [Death Note 2: The Last Name] is also a must watch @ the end of this year or early next year... LOL... I kinda like both [Light] and [L]... Gee... Looks like I've a thing for guys who are smart, intelligent and a little weird... LOL...

Ha~... I'll end here... Gonna watch [Death Note] anime and [Princess Hours] on [Chn U] later... Sayonara~!!!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Exam Stress Or SImply PMS???

I feel tt throwing all the bad stuff as my 1st few paragraphs for my blog will turn everyone but those closest to me off... Therefore, I've decided to blog abt those delightful issues 1st...

Just 2 days ago, our sch threw a farewell asembly for the J2... This means tt officially, we, the J2s are no longer required to attend sch for the morning ritual of singing the national anthem and pledge taking... However, we still have to, afterall, attend certain lectures and whatever lessons tt our teachers have put up for us in preparation for the 'A's...

Tt doesn't sound too bad as now I've time to study and I plan to head to the sch library and complete my assignments (and revision @ the same time)... It's the 1st time I'm doing this because I'm starting to feel tt the house is getting increasingly difficult to study due to all the TV, com and PS competing to get my attention... Therefore, by depriving myself from all those distraction, I do hope tt I could increase my productivity...

Back to the farewell assembly... The performances by the various teachers and the VP were really interesting and fun to watch... The only bummer was the performance by the [7th SC]... They really can't sing... But @ it's a good try and thanks anyway for the not so wonderful performances... *Weak smile*

Once the sch day ends, it's time for a major phototaking session by all my classmates... I was witness to the whole event and everyone was like so eager to take photos with him, her and everyone... But not me... I guess it's because I give out those 'don't even think abt taking photos with me' vibes... After all, I feel (and it's proven), tt I'm not exactly good-looking nor ugly to even warren any attention to me... Besides, I totally feel tt when I smile or even attempt to act cute, the end result is totally hideous... Guess the only expression I can give is to look normal and don't even bother to smile...

Had lunch with the class in [Pizza Hut] @ [Lot 1]... Despite it being a class lunch, there wasn't any class-y interactions as after 2 yrs of being in our own cliques, I do feel weird conversing with ppl whom I'm not too close with... After all, the topics available with strangers are just tt limited, and I'm a very shy and reserved person when it comes to being around with stangers... Perhaps those who aren't close to me find tt I'm a very distant and cold person... However, to those I consider as friends, I'm more talkative and as for my buds, I only have this to say... It's remarkable of you to bear my incessant chattering on the phone...

1st impression counts but there's a great percentage error to the vaildity of it...

Now let's move on to some solemn issues... Of late, my mood is @ an all time low, just like tt of the weather, @ an all time low due to the persistent haze... Sometimes it's only human nature to immediately shift the blame to others... However, we can't really totally blame the [Indonesians] for burning down the forest... After all, they depend on the land for their survival... Sure, some of you may argue tt they could've adopt other means to clear the lands... But they're living in poverty!!! Do they have the means (knowledge and technology) to actually clear the land using more environmentally friendly means??? It's beyond their reach to do so...

I know I'm digressing... Nonetheless, if we want to blame ppl for the haze, we have only ourselves to blame... If every country actually could really send aid, I mean not only monetary aid, but other forms of aid tt'll help increase the welfare of the poor, perhaps the haze can be prevented... Yet tt is easier said than done...

O-k-ay... Back to my bad mood... I do think tt it's the exam stress and with me being such a passive person, I've no means to de-stress and the effect is a bad mood... I guess everything will improve once the 'A's is over... But my foul mood will remain...

The root of the problem??? I've just received a letter from [MinDef] announcing my date of enlistment to the army... So I've no BMT and I'll only be gone for 5.5 days, what's the prob??? Well, the prob is of majority of the ppl surrounding me, including my parents... And my inability to be in self-denial...

Let's dwell on the self-denial part 1st... After my med check-up, and my wonderful PES E status was bestowed to me a few mths back, I was happily deluding myself tt tt's the end of the army issue... The study stress, friends and [DOTA] actaully helped to shove tt inveitable event (my enlistment) to the back of my mind... I even have to cheek to help organise the gang's chalet even though I knew @ tt pt of time tt my probability of my giving tt a miss is rather high... I even envisioned myself @ the arcade enjoying myself @ the wee hours of the night...

Then came the letter which totally obliterated all hope of me going to the army @ a later date... as I was in self-denial, accepting the truth is a little hard but I've managed to accomplished tt some time ago... Despite tt, my mood hasn't improved...

The main cause of it (I reckon) is the persistent nagging of me to prepare for army life by my parents and some of my friends... Advising me to attempt bathing faster and in cold water are only 2 of the numerous irritating advice tt're thrown to me like it's free...

As If I don't have to worry abt doing well for my 'A's, I have to worry abt tt... Can't they cut me some slack and stop mentioning abt army life?! The 'A's is really stressful enough as I have high hopes for myself and I can't even fanthom myself messing it up...

But does anyone understand??? NO!!! None of them... All they ever care abt was the after 'A's phase, not the before 'A's and during 'A's phases... Insisting tt I should train up and be more man, etc... I'm not tt free to even attempt to factor those events into my schedule...

*Deep breathes*... Can't those closer to me actually see tt I hate (I'm using such strong words on purpose) exercising??? Tt I prefer online gaming and playing my PS to those activities??? After caring for me for so long, can't they realise tt??? Sometimes I can't stand them...

Tt day, when I showed them my prelim result slip, they're only concered if I could get into a uni and they were impressed tt I'm the [ACM]... It's no big deal anyway, but they sounded so impressed... Then they noticed tt the teacher wrote tt I'm a 'quiet and reserved' person... I mean, I've always been like tt... But my dad asked how come I'm reserved!!!

Sheesh!!! I'm just shy when it comes to strangers, can't they tell??? Okay, so I'm a little withdrawn from my parents as well... But tt because they thought tt every cartoon I watch is the same!!! Try explaining why 1+1=2 to a sec 1 student and you'll know how I feel @ tt pt of time... I was watching my recorded [Tubasa Chronicles] yesterday and my dad asked this dumb question...

'I thought you watched this yesterday (Friday) already???'

FYI, on [Friday], the anime I was watching [Inuyasha]... Just because I'm watching cartoon doesn't mean tt they're all similar... Can't they see animes as dramas with different episodes??? You don't see me complaining to them everyday @ 7 pm for watching the same drama...

After all those complaining, it's obivous there's a rift b/w me and my parents... I'm not the kind to take initiatives and passively, I'll prevent the gap from widening...

There!!! I feel much relieved now... Looking ahead, I'll enter [Tekong] with less hatred, tt I can assure myself... As for enlarging my social circle, tt I can't promise... Afterall, life as a loner isn't always tt terrible and having the gang is the best thing tt could ever happen to me...

It's terrible to envision the future when we all go our separate ways... Yet I know it's heart-breaking to tihnk of such events now... When the time comes to move on, tt feeling will no longer be there except when memories are revived...

Can't type anymore... My feeling are in a turmoil now... Arghhh!!!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

PSI = 150!!! Record High!!!

Ya, as I'm typing this, the air quality is atrocious... And I do think tt the acrid smell is affecting me negatively... I don't know if it's due to the stress I'm experiecning to do well or simply just the haze tt's irritating me or a combination of both, but I'm easily irritable of late... Maybe it's just a simple case of PMS... LOL...

Anyway, let's start from the beginning of the wk... Tt's where the tell-tale signs of me having my alleged PMS starts... For those tt originates from [KSS], you should know what I'm referring to... You know those kinda taffic lights tt only turn red when you press the button??? The vicinity of [PJC] has a similar traffic light so as to allow children and students to cross the road in the morning in peace... Around [Mon] or [Tue], as I approached tt traffic light, there were 2 teachers and some [TWSS] students waiting for the green man to appear... There's no prob to tt... Except tt none of them did press the button!!! So how on earth is the lights going to change??? I was utterly pissed off by what I witness and if I hadn't saved the day and pushed tt button, I bet everyone's gonna wait dumbly for who-knows-how-long...

Yes, it's no big deal actually... But I'm bewildered by the fact tt the 2 teachers didn't even bother to even press the button!!! They were like happily chatting down there, not giving a damn... Even worse, they teachers are from my sch... Gosh... Then again, I shouldn't be so critical abt them... I believe in karma you know... What goes around comes around... Who knows maybe in the near future, someone's gonna call me 'dumb' as well... Note to self: I should watch what I think...

Tt outta my chest, I think I feel much better... Now I shall delicate this para to [Quin], my 'Milo Bud'... It's uber sweet of her to bring mooncakes for declique on 2 consecutive days, and different types as well... The 1st time she bought the mooncakes, it's those traditional ones with egg yokes and whatever-nuts you call them in the mooncakes... On the next day, she bought those with different flavours... There's durian, yam and something else... I tried the durian and I find tt it's yummy... You rock [Quin], even though you didn't do all the baking yourself... Thanks loads!!! ^_^

Now it's where the sentimental me slowly comes in and the pissed off me disappears... I was watching [Tsubasa Chronicals] yeasterday on [Animax] and it showed tt particular episode where [Shaoran] and company went to one of the world w/o feathers... During tt episode, [Sakura] managed to regain her memory of her birthday, except tt [Shaoran] is not in tt memory... Despite tt, [Shaoran] still wants to help [Sakura] regain back all her memories because as long as [Sakura] is happy, [Shaoran] is contented already... Then [Shaoran] relives tt same memory of [Sakura]'s b-day, with him in the memory... I find tt part especially touching... Tt unconditional love to [Sakura]... It's true love I tell you, and I wonder when I'll get to experience tt...

It's only human nature to long for something tt we don't have... The following kinda proves my pt...

I was having an extremely weird dream a few days back and I still remember it vividly... In the dream, a hunky guy in beach wear - flora shirt and bermudas - was pushing me against the wall and having both hands pressed on both sides of me, cutting my escape route... Then he leaned closer to me and we French kissed... The kiss lasted for only a second or 2... He pulled back his head just as I've gotten over the shock and was wanting more... What's worse is tt I couldn't see the features of my man of my dreams... Such a pity... *groans* :S

Perhaps when I actually got a taste of being in a relationship will I stop all this thoughts... For now, I'm following my heart even though the most rational thing to do is to follow my head, which is currently telling me not to get into a relationship but study for the 'A's!!! LOL... Of course, tt's only part of my dream... The other half is a psychotic one... I actually dreamt tt [Ming]'s the type of psycho tt likes to hit ppl and I'm a sadist tt like to be beaten... OMG... I can't believe I dreamt of tt kinda sicko sutff... Guess I'm a step closer to needing a psychaitrist...

Before I end off, I wanna note down this theory of mine as I find tt it's a very good hypothesis of how Biology works...

I believe tt humans are created such a way tt they're spread out over a range abt a mean... I.e, the creation of human is normally distributed with a certain mean and variance... The mean consist of ppl like you and me, those who are either very clever, but lack the looks - a.k.a geeks, - those who are god-like, but dumb - a.k.a bimbos or himbos - and those who are neither very intelligent or good-looking, those average Joes and Janes ... These ppl can be classified as the normal kinda ppl... Then there's those @ the 2 extreme ends... On the negative ends are the handicapped ppl, those born with disabilities... They're placed there as satistically, the probability of them being born is very low, which is proven... On the positive end then are the anomalies... Ppl born with superb abilities... Either they've special abilities like [Chris Angel], the famous street magician, they're born with both good-looks and intelligence... And this is where I'll classify [SL]... The falls in tt category as satistically speaking, the probability of the likes of him appearing in this world ever again is almost negligible...

Oh well... I've written my fill and before I really end off, the following is a summary of my grades for me [Prelims]... I feel stressed out to maintain my momentum and perform better... *sigh*

English --> C6 (almost failed if not for moderation)
Maths --> A
Phy ---> A
Chem --> B
Econs --> E (almost failed this as well due to essay, my nemesis)

P.S: I saw my J1 eye-candy again!!! It's been a long time since I've last seen him... Saw him @ [KFC] in [Lot 1] ttyeaterday when I'm having my dinner... He's so adorable!!! (I'm going a little crazy here...)